Proverbs 4:2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
Job 10:1 My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
My mother has an expression to explain her tiredness. She says, “I am tired on the inside.” That normally means she has to go lay down and have a rested sleep and regain her energy for the day. There is a tiredness on the inside that cannot be dismissed with a short nap. It is the weariness of the soul that occurs when someone has tried everything but God to gain peace and stability but finds none. They have become tired of an empty life with no blessed future on the horizon.
How many people are tired on the inside and like Job says of his soul – he can no longer keep the tired bitterness from coming forth? Many people are good at hiding the emotional war going on inside their soul, and with great showmanship are able to display a strong front to the world. This pretense of face-saving can only go so far before the walls will eventually come tumbling down, so to speak.
King Saul had a hard time hiding his jealous heart when it came to David and God’s favor on David’s life. Saul was so weary and tired on the inside that he needed David to play music to help quell the spirits that oppressed and tormented him. 1 Sam. 16:23 And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Then Saul would feel better, and the tormenting spirit would go away. Even though it was David who helped Saul gain peace – Saul, with hatred in his heart, still attacked David ruthlessly. 1 Sam. 19:10 Saul tried to nail David to the wall with the spear, but he escaped from Saul’s presence and the spear drove into the wall. David escaped quickly that night.
Unless the Lord is your peace, the little peace you have will be temporary and fleeting. Mark 4:25 For whoever has, more will be given to him, and whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.
Many workers in ministry give testimony to their tiredness on the inside. This sometimes happens when the ministry itself becomes a god and Jesus is left to become a subject of religious conversation and an exercise in weak apologetics. Having lost the real conviction of Jesus, these workers of religion become empty of heart. Jesus is relegated to a side-note preached, rather than the Savior who lives. Phil. 1:15 To be sure, some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of good will.
God within our being gives life and will quench the thirst that weariness produces. John 7:38 “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.”’ If you have become tired on the inside, then it is time to allow the spirit of God that lives within you to fill your soul with life and assurance. Allow the Holy Spirit to fill you with the first love you had when Jesus was everything to you. Prov. 4:2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
Jesus himself asks us to return to our first love for Him. This will heal the tiredness inside. Jesus is Lord and not just a conversation piece. May we all find and keep Him in our hearts. Amen.
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